SOPHMB2CE

The following is a challenege put forth by one of my preofessors last year.  The challenege entailed taking a simple standard deck of playing cards and creating a unique “duel game”.  The result of wich is  Super Office Politics High-rise Mega Battle 2000 -Championship Edition or “SOPHMB2CE” (sop-hemb-tocee) for short-ish.  The following is an exerpt from the rules handbook I produced for the game:

Super Office Politics High-rise Mega Battle 2000 -Championship Edition or “SOPHMB2CE” (sop-hemb-tocee) is meant to be played between two players at a time each having one standard 52 card deck.  Each player or “Headhunter” will shuffle the other Headhunter’s deck to ensure the decks are both equally random. Then with each Headhunter having their original and fully shuffled deck face down they will each simultaneously flip the top car to determine their office caste. It is encouraged that as the players flip the top card they scream some sort of work safe insult at each other such as “Your last PowerPoint presentation was awful!” or “Where did you get that tie the salvation army?!”

Determine Your Office Caste:

The caste of each player is determined by the suit they draw.  Should both Headhunters draw the same suit on their first flip, they have two choices on how to continue:

Option 1: Both Headhunters shake hands over top of their decks and congratulate each other on their simultaneous victory and the older of the two offers to by the first round of drinks at the closest bar.

Option 2: If both Headhunters really want to play a game of SOPHMB2CE then they will immediately and simultaneously mutter apologies about how their report is late and flip the next card in the deck. This should be repeated until both Headhunters turn over a unique suit. If both Headhunters manage to flip over all 52 cards and match their suits on every flip they are required to burn their decks, and contact a local priest for an urgent exorcism.

Setting Up to Play:

Once the Headhunters have a different suit they should then take a moment to boast about how much better their caste is than all the others. Once each Headhunter feels they have bragged enough they then need to separate out the 1-10 cards for their caste and set them aside with the ten facing up on top the nine facing up beneath it and so on. These cards will act as the hit point counters for the Headhunters themselves with each hit point of damage done to them removing the appropriate number of cards.

How To Play:

Play begins with the Headhunter that drew the highest card during the caste selection process or whoever draws the highest card on as many rounds of redraws as needed to find a winner. Once the play order is determined and both Headhunters have their hit point cards set to the side both decks are reshuffled and the play may begin.

Whichever Headhunter is first begins by issuing a verbal challenge deriding their opponent’s caste and states their attack intention. After stating which attack they are using on the opponents caste both headhunters draw a card to determine weather the attack lands or fails biased upon who has the higher card with all applicable bonuses added in.

Keep in mind that should the attacking headhunter draw one of their special attack cards during the draw phase of the attack the attack being used becomes that special attack as opposed to the one originally declared. However if the defending Headhunter draws one of their special attack cards during their defense draw it is wasted and the face value is simply used as their defense score.

The Headhunter with the higher valued card in either defense state or attack state will be the winner of the round. If the attacker was victorious then the defending player removed hit point cards equal to the attacks damage value with each card in the stack of 10 being equal to one hit point. If the defender was victorious then no damage is done and it is then their turn to attack.

The play continues in this manner, attack then defense phases, until one of the Headhunters reaches 0 or less hit points. The victorious Headhunter is required to do a small victory dance while the losing Headhunter softly weeps.

After Game:

Once the game is complete both decks will need to be reshuffled with all hit point cards before the next round of play can begin at which point the Headhunters will both select new castes and begin again.

The Castes:

All castes have special attacks based upon the king and queen cards of their suit, if these cards are drawn by the attacker during their attack phase then the special attack is used as opposed to the one the Headhunter previously declared.

Hearts: The Secretarial Pool

The Headhunter of the quick and lethal secretarial pool relies on their team of secretaries’ speed and powers of seduction to overcome their opponent and their attacks reflect this. The Secretarial Pool automatically receives a +1 bonus to the value of all attack draws.

Standard attacks:

Break-room Seduction:

The most commonly used attack of the Secretarial Pool is the most popular amongst its enemies as well.

DAMAGE -1HP

Reverse Dictation:

When the Secretarial Pool Headhunter unleashes this unpleasant sounding attack their swarm of secretaries do what their best at, only in reverse!  However this causes the Secretarial Pool Headhunter to be less ready for their defense next round. DAMAGE: -2 HP (-1 DEF value next round)

Special attacks:

Sexual-Harassment Charges (Queen of Hearts)

Regardless of the other Headhunter’s gender the Secretarial Pool brings one of their most powerful weapons to bear on them, the damage is devastating.

DAMAGE -3HP

High-Heel Hell-Kick (King of Hearts)

No one likes a six-inch stiletto to their most sensitive bits. DAMAGE -4HP

Spades: The IT Department

Spades: The IT Department

The Headhunter of the slothful yet intelligent IT Department has their work cut out for them in attempting to motivate his troops. However given enough energy drinks and CAT-5 cable the IT Department can get just about anything done. The IT Department receives an automatic +1 bonus to the value of all defense draws.

Standard attacks:

Password Reset:

“What’s that? You need your password reset …again? Isn’t this the third time this week?”

DAMAGE -1HP

Reboot and Call Back if the Problem Persists:

By chanting this sacred mantra the IT can deal a hefty blow to their enemy; however their defense in the next round suffers as the problem with telling someone to call back is that they often do. DAMAGE: -2 HP (-1 Attack value next round)

Special attacks:

Server Maintenance (Queen of Spades)

Bringing down the server locks the IT Headhunter’s enemy out of their profile, email, everything; truly one of the most devastating attacks in the IT arsenal.

DAMAGE -3HP

End Task Assault (King of Spades)

The IT Department uses remote control to log into the enemy’s computers and end task on their open documents and programs then log off without a trace.

DAMAGE -4HP

Diamonds: Middle Management

Diamonds: Middle Management

Long has Middle Management ruled the office with an aluminum fist. The seasoned Headhunter of Middle Management has many resources at their disposal and while they may not be able to end another’s career he can certainly ruin their weekend. Due to seniority all Middle Management Headhunters receive an automatic +1 bonus to the value of their attack card draws.

Standard attacks:

Micro-manage:

The Middle Management Headhunter nitpicks and back seat drives his enemies into submission.

DAMAGE -1HP

Policy Change:

Flexing their managerial might the cruel members of Middle Management force an advantageous change in policy; however this radical shift even leaves them a bit vulnerable.

DAMAGE: -2 HP (-1 DEF value next round)

Special attacks:

TPS Cover Sheet (Queen of Diamonds)

Sometimes simply pulling out an obscure, brand new and poorly understood policy is the best way to ruin someone’s day.

DAMAGE -3HP

Yeah, I’m going to need you to come in on Saturday (King of Diamonds)

Perhaps the cruelest of all assaults, this ruins the enemy Headhunter’s morale, weekend, and puts a hurt on them too.

DAMAGE -4HP

Clubs: Mail Room

Clubs: Mail Room

The shadowy forces of the Mail Room are cloaked in mystery and deception.  The Headhunter of the mailroom and his highly skilled staff has access to every room in the building. It is they that deliver the checks and the vital inter-office memos that are the lifeblood of the company. Due to the shadow nature of the ninja like Mail Room skill-set the Mail Room Headhunter receives an automatic +1 to defense card draw values.

Standard attacks:

Speedy Delivery:

A manila envelope moving at 200MPH can result in a serious paper cut.

DAMAGE -1HP

Lost Memo:

“Oh you didn’t get that memo? You know the one about the fumigation this week. No? Sucks to be you.” Of course, this tactic can leave the Mail Room in a bit of disarray.

DAMAGE: -2 HP (-1 Attack value next round)

Special attacks:

Mail Cart Hit and Run (Queen of Clubs)

One hundred pound mail cart and a running start can do a lot of damage.

DAMAGE -3HP

Cubical Prank (King of Clubs)

The Headhunter and his cohorts fill the enemies’ cubicles with balloons. Balloons full of live and angry scorpions.

DAMAGE -4HP

Example Play:

Headhunter A:

Playing as The IT Department chooses to use Password Reset against Headhunter B. He draws a 7.

Headhunter B:

Playing as The Secretarial Pool draws a 4 for her defense. Ouch. She loses one hit point and is down to 9.

Headhunter B:

She chooses to use Reverse Dictation against Headhunter B even though she’ll be -1 on DEF next round. She draws a 9 for her attack.

Headhunter A:

Draws a 5 for defense, double ouch –2 hit points leaving him at 8.

Headhunter A:

Decides to get serious and use Reboot and Call Back if the Problem Persists even if it means he attacks at -1 next round. He draws a 3 for his attack, oh no!

Headhunter B:

She defends against the attack easily with the draw of a Jack even with her -1 penalty which is now worn off.

Headhunter B:

She decides not to press her luck and uses Break-room Seduction against Headhunter A, drawing a 5 for her attack.

Headhunter A:

Fails in his defense with a draw of a 3, and takes 1 damage leaving him at 7.

Headhunter A:

Uses Password Reset again and draws a KING! His attack switches to End Task Assault with the King value acting as his attack draw!

Headhunter B:

Draws a 7 on her defense which is not enough, she takes a devastating 4 damage leaving her at 5 hit points left.

And the game continues…

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